Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Then Shall the Eye of the Blind be Opened

Today is the big day. Eye tune-up day. The first of two eyes. Although I tell myself it is less than nothing in the scheme of things, I'm like a cat on a hot tin roof. Did you know that the earliest references to cataract surgery are found in Sanskrit manuscripts dating from the 5th century BC?

All my friends who have had it done say, don't worry, it's nothing. All my friends who have not say, I would be worried too if I were you. Did you know that Jacques Daviel was the first European physician to successfully extract cataracts from the eye in 1748?

How long before I can read? Drive? Go to the gym? Well I have charged up my iPod, I've got some books on tape. I know, I know. It will be fine. The colours will be amazing so I'm told. I'll let you know. Did you know cataract surgery is the most commonly performed surgery in North America? Say after me: It will be fine, it will be fine, it will be fine.

However to cheer us all up (What am I saying? This should make you very depressed, it does me.) I give you this selection from Dumbest Celebrity Quotes, featured in the Vancouver Sun newspaper this past weekend.

George W Bush: I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them.

Sigh. The most powerful man in the Western world for the past eight years? No wonder he has wrought such havoc upon it. (Don't you love that photo? It would have been left on the cutting room floor if I had been in charge.)

Brooke Shields: Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.

Well she is beautiful and not even blonde. (Apologies to blondes, I know there is no truth to this cliché.)

Ted Turner: If I sold all my liabilities, I wouldn't own anything. My wife's a liability, my kids are liabilities and I haven't sold them.

How did you get to be such a wealthy media mogul Ted? Smart advisers I guess.

Sadly I know there have been many occasions when someone has shaken his or her head at some of the inane utterances which have issued from JMB's mouth, so who am I to criticize? At least they did not make the front page of some newspaper. Just here on this blog or on someone else's, in the comment section.

Finally this video really does cheer me up and it shows some of the reasons why I don't miss certain aspects of Australia. Thanks to Colin Campbell, who has to watch out for these lurking dangers.

Back soon. Better than ever. It will be fine.


Nunyaa said...

((hugs)) lots of good wishes with your eye surgery :-)

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

You will be fine. You Will be fine. You will be Fine. At least you're not in Australia.

All the best with your surgery. Look forward to your view of the world in vivid colours.

rlbates said...

Best wishes, JMB!

Carver said...

Dear JMB,

I'll be sending a bunch of good thoughts and prayers your way, and will also be sending some to the cataract surgeon that he do his very best work on JMB.

The quotes made me laugh and made me sigh. I think one of the more bizarre Bush ones was when he said that the human mind was a terrible thing (instead of terrible thing to waste as most do when discussing education). The Australia video was hilarious.

Best of luck and regards, Carver

jams o donnell said...

You'll be fine jmb. Best wishes

Tai said...

Better than ever, JMB! I'll be thinking of you, and anxiously awaiting your next post to tell us how pleased you are.

Crushed said...

Good luck!

At first I thought, from your image, you were joining the masons.

George Dubya does come up with some good uns though, doesn't he?

Semaj Mahgih said...

What a range of topics - really thought you were going on from my post on the horned salute - careful, JMB, they'll come for you.

Good luck with the surgery.

Ian Lidster said...

May it all go well, dear lady. Shall be thinking of you. As for the dumb quotes, I'll forgive Ted almost any gaffe just because of TCM.

Ruthie said...

It will be fine. I'll be thinking of you. Good luck with your surgery.

Remember: it will be fine.

Dr.John said...

My wife had both cataracts removed. It went fine, fine, fine. Your surgery will go fine, fine , fine.
I on the other hand will not go to Australia.

Sean Jeating said...

My thoughts are with you, dear jmb. Fingers crossed! :)

Liz said...

I hope it's all gone well, jmb. You kept quiet about that! You will be fine!

Love and prayers for your recuperation. x

CherryPie said...

I know you will be OK :-) My Mum had this done. Her eyesight is so good it scares me now!

I think Crushed meant the Illuminati ;-)

Grendel said...

Good luck


Welshcakes Limoncello said...

And it WILL be fine, dear jmb. Thinking of you xx

Janice Thomson said...

Wishing you well JMB - you really will be fine. I'll be thinking of you and sending good vibes your way. Take care and see you soon.

Jaks Lloyd said...

Yes, its easy to say don't worry if you haven't had it done yourself, but my husband has had it on both eyes, very successfully, and says it was absolutely OK and he feels pain, believe me.

Sarabeth said...

Oh, I'm a day late! I hope everything went well and that you see clearer now.

There are times when I am sure that my blond hair has some influence on what I say.

jmb said...

Hi Nunyaa,
Thanks, all fine hopefully.

I am looking forward to brilliant colours and you are right, I don't miss those nasty spiders and snakes

Hi Ramona,
Thanks, I know it will all work out.

Hi Carver,
Don't you just love Dubya's idiotic sayings. If only he were not in charge. Thanks it will be fine.

Hi Jams,
I am fine, thanks.

Hi Tai,
I'd like to be better than before, LOL, and thanks.

HI Crushed,
That symbol represents the eye of Osiris. How would I know about the masons? They are male sexist people after all. Ah, Dubya's a gem.

Hi James,
Lots of ground covered I'll admit. I just grew like Topsy. Thanks, it will be fine.

Hi Ian,
Maybe TCM was not even Ted's idea. either. Thanks for the good wishes.

Hi Ruthie,
It will be fine, soon. Thanks for the good wishes.

Hi Dr John,
I'm not really expecting problems but I always worry about my eyesight.
Those snakes and spiders are to be avoided for sure.

Hi Sean,
fingers and toes and eyes crossed. Thanks

Hi Liz,
I don't keep quiet about anthing you know. Fine, fine. Thanks.

Hi Cherrypie,
I am looking forward to great sight very soon. Well in one eye, one more to go.
Yes the masons made no sense from Crushed, illuminati does.

Hi Grendel,
Thanks, it will be fine, I'm sure.

Hi Welshcakes,
Thanks, I'm sure all will be well.

Hi Janice,
All went well I hope. Thanks for the good wishes.

Hi Jaks, welcome,
so many people have had it done with no problem, I'm sure it won't be any different for me. Just waiting now for the great vision to kick in.

Hi Sarabeth,
Gradually clearing, better by the hour. Blonde jokes are cruel but I could not resist the cliché.

Thanks to everyone for visiting and commenting and I appreciate your good wishes.